


The Mistakes We'll Make

by Zorthain



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin
Genre: (of laughter), Also I toyed with the ages a lil have fun, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - No supernatural, Angry Writing, Batteries Included!, Canadian Intensifies, Diving, Don't Judge, Eeeehhhhhhhhh, Fluff, Holy fuck I can't think just forget it, How To Annoy A Friend, Humanity's Sassiest, I Don't Even Know, I can't tag seriously right now, I have three series running but this just popped into my head, I mean I'd fix them but eeeeeh, I should probably finish them, I thought about fixing these terrible tags the day after, I've got three school projects due tomorrow and all I wanna do is gay fanfic, Moronic Armin, Multi, SO SORRY, Swimming, Wtf Zorthain, but I'm fucking dying so I'll just add on, pools, this was difficult to write, ugh brain why
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-12
Updated: 2015-04-12
Packaged: 2018-03-21 12:24:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,523
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3692166
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zorthain/pseuds/Zorthain
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An antsy Erwin Smith is looking into a job at the local pool, since summer has once again returned, along with his empty-wallet syndrome. He doesn't know whether to apply for it or not, or whether the pay is worth the risk. What he does know is that he's probably the most ill-equipped "certified" nineteen year old in town to save someone's life. If he takes the job and someone dies, he'll never forgive himself, and if he doesn't, he'll probably end up living under a bridge, or worse, back with his parents. </p><p>He was ready to never forgive himself when the sleek body began to thrash in the water.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

"Name?"

The cold tone in the manager's voice made me shudder through my sweatshirt. Her name tag read Rico, but she'd instructed me to call her " _Miss Brezenski, if you will._ "

"My name is Erwin Smith, ma'am." I didn't like how I stuttered my own name, and from the blank look she gave me, she'd didn't like it either.

"Well Mr. Smith," she said cooly, running a finger down the names of the applicants, "It says here you're a certified Red Cross, so if you don't mind following me out to the pool, we can begin your test." She stood out of the chair and I nearly had to clean out my ears in disbelief. I felt a crisp breeze as she stalked out the door.

"What?" I hadn't so much as brought my suit, hell, it was still May, and the water was sure to be freezing, even if I'd been at an indoor pool. And I'd at least wanted to review my notes beforehand. While my brain ran in circles, my legs ran after her.

"Yes. We are supposed to specialize in having people who are prepared for anything after all, Mr. Smith. Shoes off in the pool area," she said, as though she could have seen my thoughts written on the smooth cement in front of us. She slipped out if her own ridiculous five-inch heels and I realized just how short she was. I hurried out of my sneakers and trotted after her.

"Unbelievable," I muttered to myself, a tad louder than I'd wanted. She glared at me, probably assuming I was talking about the test, which, essentially, I was.

"I'll begin to asses you quickly on your theory as we walk. What is the correct approach for a victim who is suffering from shock, to start with the basics?"

Her voice was calloused and unforgiving, and I shivered, trying to think how to explain myself. "It's WARTS, ma'am, but-"

"An acronym won't be saving anyone, will it?" she said, penciling something onto her clipboard. The way she spoke made the question mark irrelevant.

I had to smother the urge to curse loudly with more pressing issues, such as how I was going to say it had been years since I had any idea what I was doing, or no swimsuit either. "It would be warmth, ABCs, rest and reassure, treat for cause, and semi-sit-slash-semi-prone, bu-!"

"Good, so you're not a total idiot," she said, making another note, and I wanted to hit the clipboard so hard the damn thing went up her nose. 

"Ma'am," I said, gritting my teeth. "I don't have my trunks." 

She eyed me over the rim of her glasses curtly, as though considering what I was saying seriously, then brushed it off. "I assume you'll simply have to improvise then. Ready for anything, Smith," she repeated, leaving me standing confused as she took a seat on the bench near the deep end.

After a second of her glaring at me, I figured out I was supposed to be getting in, and I looked at the water reluctantly. Of course, there was no other option than to actually do just that, so I just took off whatever clothing I could spare and jumped. At least my shirt and socks would be dry.

The water _was_ cold, freezing in fact, and I shivered a moment as I plunged downwards in a penguin dive. I sat on the bottom for a second, thinking about the mess I'd gotten myself into before shooting upwards again to break the surface.

This was going to be a long review.

 

* * *

 

  "So?" Mike asked as I stepped into the apartment, dripping water on the carpet. I made certain to slam the door a little for effect. "How'd you do? Did you fall in?" he grinned.

"Shut up," I growled, but I couldn't keep the laugh off my face at his stupid face. "I didn't fall, I jumped."

"With all your clothes on? Was that intentional too?" The twenty-two year old muted the episode of _Game of Thrones_ on the TV and leaned on the armrest to pay full attention to me. "At least tell me you got the job," he said, and I knew from his expression he might have been genuinely sad if I didn't.

I flashed him a thumbs-up and a smile he returned, before disappearing into the bathroom to dry myself off. It had been a stroke of luck really, that I hadn't utterly and completely failed. Of course I was still liable to _kill_ someone, and that was another weight on my shoulders. But, on the other hand, I had a job now, and wasn't that the intention? The semester was over, and I needed cash, so lifeguard it was.

No matter how you phrased it, I just had to pray to dear god that nobody drowned while I was sitting up in the big red chair.

Mike interrupted my thoughts when he walked through the door maybe five minutes later. He looked me up and down a few times before his eyebrows furrowed together. I could hear him scratch at his beard a little. "You okay Erwin? You seem almost, unbalanced."

"Nah, I'm fine." I scrubbed at my hair, trying to fully dry it out, but a few stubborn drops still clung on for dear life. "Hey, if you do dinner tonight, I'll do dishes?" I said, trying to change the subject a little. The kitchenette was a mess and I knew I'd have my work cut out for me, but it was worth it. We were lucky to have such a large place, especially when one of us was a freshman when we'd moved in. "I still have half the interview to go through, so I'd like to get a jump start on the day tomorrow."

"You mean you didn't get the job yet?" he asked, his face changing to worry again. "I thought that was a yes?"

"Yeah I got it, just some paperwork. The hard part is over." I smirked at him, remembering the time he'd tried to get with a cute girl at the pool, only to be asked to leave for being intrusive and offensive to a lifeguard. "After all they don't seem to hire for the charismatic effect, as you'd know." 

He grumbled under his breath, and that was all he had to do to say he remembered too. 

"Thanks again Mike!" I called at his retreating shape as he shambled out, and returned my attention to cleaning myself up. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaaaaahhhhhhh short first chapter and kind of crappy, but stay with me, it gets better. I promise :3
> 
>  
> 
> ~Zor


	2. Chapter 2

It was sweltering hot. I could feel the sweat trickle down my neck and soak the back of my uniform. The relentless July sun had been bringing up the temperature for weeks now, blowing it clear through the twenties and into the thirties, and of _course_ Auruo had forgotten the umbrella. I couldn't exactly get off my chair during my shift, so I grit my teeth and held my hands above my head in an attempt to create some shade.

"How you holding up, big guy?" Mike called up the ladder. His towel was draped messily over his shoulders and he had a pair of green swim trunks on, grinning like an idiot. I threw one of my flip-flops at him and immediately regretted it when I realized just how hot the plastic floor was. 

"Don't distract me when I'm on the job!" I said, laughing nervously as he danced and threw the flip flop from hand to hand. I'd tried to pour as much irritation as I possibly could into my voice, but it was hard with him looking so ridiculous.

"Whatever you say _Mr. Commander_!" he said cheekily, before tossing me my sandal and darting off to the office. I laughed a little at his retreating figure and went back to my job.

It had been maybe two months since I'd restarted training and then began with my new job, but things were running so smoothly it felt like it had been ages. Mike had begun showing up when he realized that me working here would earn him a "discount" if Rico wasn't looking, and had stopped his membership at his other pool. There were about ten of us total, and we all shifted around through the days of the week, so you weren't ever really sure who you'd be running into in the mornings. Rico had jokingly dubbed us "the Survey Corps," claiming she paid us for literally nothing else. Today it was just five of us, the other three lounging in the office, while Petra was on deck with me, so we were running around quite a bit. Marco should've shown up too, but he wasn't doing too great, so that had left us with Jean bitching all morning about how he'd been stuck alone.

Besides being enjoyable though, I had to admit the pay was pretty good, and Rico really wasn't so bad once you got to know her. The whole "Ms. Brezenski" thing had only lasted maybe a day after she'd interviewed me, insisting it made her sound too old if I kept calling her that every time I asked a question. She went on to give me a lecture about how you could be only in your late twenties and still be a responsable person, and I might have taken it more seriously if Reiner hadn't been miming her over her shoulder throughout the whole ordeal. I had been the only one, most of the others already experienced with working here and calling her Rico regularly, so I joined in.

I turned my attention back to Mike for a moment as he trundled towards the others sitting in the shade. Thankfully, Mike and I did know a few people a bit better now than before at least, and I had to squint through the sunlight while I tried to pick them out in the office.

Nanaba was the oldest, and it was her last year here since she got her masters next spring. She barely showed up between being so busy with school and life in general, and you wouldn't have guessed she was old enough to have been here too long despite her well-oiled habits and small talk with the regulars. That and her tiny frame definitely didn't say anything older than eighteen, when really she was nearly twenty-four. A few half-hearted attempts at flirting was all Mike could get in before she'd begun ignoring him, or worse, each time he tried.

...Not like it had stopped him since though. I smiled as I saw him lean on the counter, her face going from cheerful to scowling faster than I could blink. Snatches of conversation got past my ears as he began to try and talk with her again.

A series of splashes had me scanning the pool, and I felt my heart plummet out of my chest when I saw a kid floating in the water, but he flipped over and continued playing with his friends. As though he hadn't just been the cause of me nearly dying of stress. Relaxing again, I looked back to my coworkers and Mike, who was clutching his now flushed red cheek.

The tall brunette was a year older than me, and his name was Jean, though Eren had nicknamed him horseface. I didn't know him too well, mainly because he didn't talk much with anyone except Marco, but we exchanged the occasional highfive or hello as we walked past each other. He was sitting in a plump and threadbare armchair at the back of the office, repeatedly bouncing a ball off the wall and catching it while he laughed wildly at the scene in front of him.

And of course at the centre of the mess there was Auruo, who Jean was having so much fun watching. He was slouched over a chair in the office too, hurriedly trying to find the membership card of a small child amongst the files he'd dropped it in by accident, while an angry whale of a mother yelled at him from the other side. He looked up at her a moment to apologize profusely before going back to digging around, and I couldn't help but smirk too. Sure, he might have been a pretty ok kind of guy, but he was still absolutely ridiculous sometimes. He was the complete opposite of Nanaba; while his face said thirty, his birthday said nineteen.

I wasn't sure how long it had been since the last change, but I could see Jean trudging towards the chair with an umbrella. Either he'd had some monstrous change of heart, or it was shift change now, and knowing him it was most likely to be the second. Sighing, I put my towel on my head and started climbing down the ladder.

"Hey," he said, giving me a light tap on the shoulder as I touched down. "Hot out today, isn't it?" A grin tugged at the corner of his mouth as he held the umbrella up by the pole, and I had to resist the urge to smack him.

"Thank you, Captain Obvious," I snorted, nibbling at my fingertips a little. "How's Mike doing over there? Not getting beaten up too badly by Nanaba I hope?"

"Nah, man, you should've seen her earlier," he practically cackled in delight, his voice losing any hint of teasing towards me. "I swear t'god I've never seen her slap anyone that hard before!"

I allowed myself a tiny smile and forcibly made myself swallow my anxiety over leaving the chair empty a moment. Nothing would happen in the five minutes we were talking. Besides, there were three of us on deck right now, two of us were right next to the pool. If something did, the victim would be safer than at any other moment of the day.

"Beating up Mike? That wasn't in the job description," I grumbled in mock confusion, furrowing my eyebrows together.

"Be glad it's not, because if it was, I'm telling you-" He almost choked on his words and I saw all the colour drain from his face in a split second. I turned around to look at the pool as well, and I could almost _feel_ the blood evaporate from my body.

Because when I'd glanced over at the deep end of the pool, I saw a slim body thrashing in the water, his face looking at me and begging for help. The world seemed to freeze and my brain couldn't fully comprehend what was happening, even though the sudden tenseness had gotten the others looking his way too. Jean had dropped the umbrella and had rooted to the ground. Petra had had at least the sense to jump from the chair and run towards us, but she was too slow.

_Oh for fuck's sake._

My legs were pushing off of the cement before I had the chance to stop them.

For a moment I felt a spontaneous burst of pride at my reaction, until it was quickly replaced by mortification. I was going to _kill_ someone. This was my fault if he died. I was going to show them what a huge, _fucking_ failure I was at lifeguarding and there was nothing else I could even do. If I let Petra take it, I would never be able to live down the shame that she'd had to replace me when I was still technically on the job. I'd probably be fired, too.

I was only snapped back to reality by the cold water rushing over my head. I dove down and opened my eyes, desperately searching for the body of the person who'd just disappeared under the water, but the suddenness of it all clouded my vision and I couldn't see straight. I was blind, and I felt the air being sucked out of my own lungs as I looked harder, scoping the pool once my eyes had adjusted properly.

And then finally,  _finally,_  Isaw him floating near the top. I tore upwards and gripped him against my chest, covering his mouth as we broke the surface and swam back.

Rico was freaking out on the sidelines. She stalked up to me and helped me haul him out of the water, then scurried off muttering under her breath, only turning around to should last minute instructions over her shoulder. "Nanaba! Make yourself useful and call the ambulance! I'm going to get his nitro!" She stalked off, Auruo tugging Petra close at her heels. He was shaking his girlfriend and trying to get her to respond, but Petra couldn't seem to so much as do anything besides stumble blindly after him.

I turned my attention back to the victim, whose eyelids were fluttering weakly. He didn't look dead. Yet.

Jean appeared over my shoulder just as I tilted his head back and was about to start CPR, putting a hand on me to hold me back. "Woah, Smith, don't jump the gun yet. Check his LOC, see if he's breathing. I'll get you a mask. Mike, you stay here if he needs help."

"Alright." His voice was gruff, and lacking emotion, and I could almost taste the nervous tension Mike was radiating as he sniffed the air. He didn't like this any more than I did. 

 "Thanks buddy." Jean dashed off to hell knows where, leaving me to watch the victim shaking on the floor.

"Hey, hey! Kid!" I slapped the floor beside his head, then reached out tentatively and pinched his ear. As if it was magic, his eyes shot open and he sat up, spewing water over me.

"Fuck--I... angina..-- my meds-" He stuttered as he tried to get the words out right, clutching at his chest before another torrent of water poured out from between his lips. "My nitroglycerin, Rico-! I- fuck."

"Shh. She's on it now." I wasn't sure how to deal with this, fuck I'd barely known how to do it in practice, so I patted his hand lamely and ran through the list of questions I had to ask. "What's your name?"

He coughed again, before sputtering, "Armin Arlert."

"Alright. You're going to be fine, Armin. Just stay with me." I was surprised with how calm I managed to sound. "Do you have any pain anywhere else on your body besides your chest?"

"No." He shook his head, and I got the distinct feeling he'd been through this before. 

"Age?"

"17"

I had to stop my eyes from popping clean out of my skull. He barely looked fifteen, forget seventeen, and my curiosity only piqued the more I looked at him.

"Allergies?" 

"A mild one to mangoes." Another short coughing fit before he fell silent.

"Medications, besides nitro?" I hated to be thinking this right now, but he was kind of cute, the way he curled into himself when he was in pain. What the  _fuck wait_ why am I thinking about that  _at all?_

He sighed distinctly through the coughing. "No, and the last thing I ate was a sandwich for lunch, I haven't had anything else medical happen in the past three months, and I was swimming in the deep end." He clutched at his chest again and grit his teeth. "It's not the first time it's happened."

I felt a tiny and _unbelievably inappropriate Smith stop it_ smile pulling at the corners of my mouth. "Good. Because I have to admit, you're quite the heart attack yourself."

The terrible pickup line was out if my mouth before I could slap a hand on it, and an uneasy silence stretched between us, but I still couldn't wipe the grin off. Mike broke it a small eternity later with a short whistle and a nervous laugh, just as Rico arrived with the medication.

 

* * *

 

After the second dose, he hadn't gotten worse, but he hadn't gotten better either, and according to Nanaba, the ambulance should be here any minute. I couldn't help but be mildly upset, since the little blonde had actually turned out to be quite interesting. For someone younger than me by two years, his intelligence outstripped mine by five, and I couldn't help but listen to all the tiny details he gave me about his condition, or how he'd laughed and rattled off the names of several drugs a doctor wouldn't have known how to pronounce.

Finally, the ambulance arrived, sirens wailing loudly, and I let out a breath I hadn't been aware I'd been holding. No one had died.

He looked me over, then covered his face in his hands before talking. "I'm sorry, I haven't even asked your name," he said, and what I thought was a touch of red around his ears.

"It's Erwin. Smith, I mean." I trailed off awkwardly, not sure what to say. After the stupid line I'd tested out on him, I'd been trying to avoid anything personal about me, afraid of looking worse than I already did. His bright blue eyes looked up at me with, surprisingly, not a hint of resentment. 

"Well, Erwin," he said slowly, so drawn out I could hear each syllable roll off his tongue. "I'll be seeing you next time then," he grinned faintly. And then a second later, his ears became unmistakably scarlet with a last sentence. "Even though I'm not sure I should hang around anyone who'd give me another heart attack."

I had to bolt my jaw shut at the obvious flirt back at me, and fake a normal, unfazed look as they wheeled over the stretcher they were going to put him on. One paramedic looked overjoyed to have a patient, the other one looked plain pissed off. Working together, they were about to lift him up when I reached out to intercept, earning a weird glare from the smaller.

"Wait..!"

The short black haired man turned around, his scowl taut across his lips. His gaze flashed to Rico a moment, startled, then back to me, eyes narrowed into thin silvery strips. "What is it?" 

"I.." The truth was I had no idea what I was going to say, or what I was going to do, but I was going to do something. This is _exactly_ why I failed so many project planning sheets in elementary school. "I wanted to know if you wanted me to help lift him," I said weakly. "I'm probably stronger. I mean only a bit. I.. yeah." I cut myself off at the end, too afraid I'd say the exact wrong thing.

Of course, from the look I got, I already had, and the man just glared at me with even more intensity as he singlehandedly lifted Armin off the ground and on to the stretcher, ignoring the protests of his partner and Rico. 

"I should be fine, kid," he said cooly, his face masking whatever emotions he felt underneath a sea of calm, but anger crackled like thunder through the atmosphere. "Anything else?"

My throat was parched and I was sweating nervously, but I steeled myself to hold his glare. I even put on a smile before I replied with a curt, "No."

"Good. Now do a better job of being a lifeguard next time, and just keep your overly large nose out of this." His gaze flashed upwards a moment, before adding, "Or eyebrows. Jesus fuck, are those caterpillars?"

I didn't get a chance to retaliate before Armin was being wheeled away. Rico tapped me on the shoulder.

"We need to have a talk, Smith. My office, now. Kirschtein, you too."

 

* * *

 

"Frankly I'm not sure whether to congratulate you or beat you two." Rico flopped down in the chair, an exasperated sigh hissing between her teeth. "Successfully saving the victim doesn't excuse the fact nobody was on deck when he'd started to drown." I nearly interrupted to say that technically, we _had_ been on deck, just not on watch, but thought better of it.

"Not only that, but of course _he_ decides to show up," she muttered, rubbing her temples, and I wasn't even certain she was talking to me anymore. 

"Uhm, who now?" Jean asked cautiously.

"Nothing, nothing." Rico waved me away, before folding her hands neatly and returning to her normal blank expression. "Just what you could call a friend, an ex of sorts."

The tiny dark haired man reappeared in my head and the situation clicked together. I nearly choked when I'd realized she'd said ex as well. "You mean you were dating that _midget_ , Ms.?"

"I'll take the Ms. part of that as a compliment since you're in shit right now, and yes, kind of. As I said, an ex of sorts. Not for long, either, mind you," she added, pointing a finger at me. "But that's unrelated." She leaned forward on the desk, her knuckles scraping across papers. "I want to know why no one was around when Arlert began to drown. He's been coming here for years, and I remember mentioning to you he had angina several times before. So why would you have taken the risk of leaving him in the water with no one watching?"

I opened my mouth to answer, but Rico interrupted before either of us could even say anything. "No, more importantly, why would you leave the chair empty at any point when there's people in the water?"

"Well, Jean was walking over already, and it really was only thirty seconds," I said, the excuse sounding lame even to me.

She sighed again, and sat back. "I don't care if it was only half a minute Smith. _Neither_ of you  _ever_ let it happen again, or you'll find you've got a real problem. Am I clear?"

"Yes ma'am," we chorused, relief at not being fired unwinding the building pressure on my lungs that had been making it hard to breathe.

"Good. Now get back out there. You've still got a good three hours left before the end of the day," she said, bluntly looking down at the paperwork in front of her. Jean turned on his heel to leave and was gone before I knew what had happened, but I couldn't find the energy to move.

She looked up to cock an eyebrow at me. "Why are you still here? Get out."

I couldn't think why I was still standing there either, so I shrugged. "I don't know."

"Smith, I already- wait a second," she said, pausing as her eyes drifted off for a moment. "No, actually, take this," she said, pushing the cylindrical pump across the table to me. "Take it to the hospital and give it back to the poor kid. I doubt he'll want to drive anywhere but home once he gets out."

"What? But what about my shift?" I asked. "I mean there's only five of us, so-"

"Do you not want to go, Mr. Smith?" And from the glint in her eye I didn't even have to ask to know she'd heard the two comments I had hoped she hadn't. Shrugging again submissively, I picked up the pump and turned on my heel, going for the door. I paused only to say something over my shoulder quickly.

"Hey, Rico?"

"Smith." She didn't even look up from the papers.

"Thanks," I said hurriedly, before opening the door quickly and leaving, afraid she'd whip her head up and order me to stay to complete my hours. 

She didn't.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok I'm not sure I'm going to continue this but I needed a vent and yeah. My brain needs some kind of Jesus, and if possible some coffee too. Also I've had major writer's block sorry DX


	3. Chapter 3

It was maybe an hour later that I was standing in front of room 239B of the cardiology wing at St. Maria's Hospital. I held a hand over the door, and then hesitated. The nurse had looked at me strangely when I'd come in, and who was to say that Armin wouldn't do the same? I gripped the pump even tighter in my palm and raised my fist higher, then knocked abruptly, deciding I was going to have to eventually.

"Come in," a soft voice said, and I turned the handle slowly as it swung open. Armin was sitting in a bed, blue eyes wide in surprise when I walked in.

"Hi." Awkward tension hung in the air, before he smiled at me.

"Erwin, right?" He asked as though I hadn't dragged his limp body out of the pool earlier. "Hi. Why're you here?"

"Rico sent me to drop off your pump," I explained quickly, not wanting to rest on the silence too long. "She said she didn't expect you'd want to pick it up later, so I asked if I should drop it off." It wasn't exactly the truth, but his grin was worth it.

"Hey, thanks, that's really sweet of you," he said, eyes crinkling happily. I tossed him the pump and he caught it sloppily, nearly dropping it. I turned around and was about to leave when I heard him call out again, sounding confused. "Where're you going?"

"Well, I just figured since I came in unannounced and all-" I tried, inching towards the door.

"No, no way, I'd like it if you stay. Here, sit down," he said, his face flushing slightly as he kicked a chair at me. "Nurse stories about other patients get boring after a while."

"Thanks," I said, taking a seat next to him, slightly flustered. I had never thought that small and submissive would be my type, or _male_ , but here I was. "So how's hospital life?"

"Eh, it's been better, it's been worse," he shrugged, a small amount of normality slipping back into his voice. "They insisted I stay at least until tomorrow afternoon." He picked at the IV in his arm before glancing back up at me. "And what about saving people on your end?" I took a moment to note his ears had turned red again.

I laughed a little, then beamed. "Oh, you know me, saving handsome boys left and right all day." His face only deepened in colour when he realized I'd just called him handsome, and he went back to picking his IV.

"The nurses said they'd change this soon," he muttered, switching topics abruptly. "I really hope they do, since it's getting itchy."

"Hey, look at me again, Armin. Don't undermine yourself like that." I wasn't going to let him avoid the topic as though it was poisonous, because we both knew what he was doing. "If you don't like what I'm saying, stop me, ok? But I really do think you're good-looking," I said, taking his hand gently.

He pulled it back a little and averted his gaze out the window. "I'd just, I think I'd just want to know you better is all, before either of us talk like that." He didn't speak clearly, but rather as though he had a large stone stuck in his throat.

"Well, what do you want to know about me?" I was ready to tell him anything honestly, if that was all that was holding him back. I was already lucky enough he was still talking to me, after I'd been hitting on him like that.

"What's your favourite book?" he asked quickly. I could tell the question was important and I thought a moment before I answered.

"I think I'd have to say it'd be _The Art of Racing in the Rain_. Probably because even though it was intended for a younger audience, I could really get caught up in it. It was, I think the best word would be unfathomably real for a book. And I especially lover the epilogue, with Enzo coming back."

Armin frowned a little at my response. "I didn't like it much, but on the other hand I've always found myself drawn to biographies and more informational topics. Like _Tuesdays with Morrie_  or _I Am Malala_ type of thing."

I had to think a moment about how you couldn't like fiction of any kind, and blurted out "Why?" without thinking.

His eyes seemed to light up and glow almost, the dim sunlight still outside seeping in and reflecting off them. "I want to see the world. All of it. I want to see all of North America and then go to Europe and Africa and all the rest too, I want to walk across the Grand Canyon and see the Eiffel Tower and clim in the Rockies in the blistering cold and wander down the Great Wall. Not just feel it, but _experience_ it." He paused to take a breath, and then continued shakily. "Biographies and documentaries just let me get closer to that."

"But more than anything, I want to see the ocean." His voice had a sad longing it hadn't had before, and I stayed quiet. "I want to just walk into it and wade for hours and swim through the reefs."

"So how much of that have you seen then?" I asked, regretting it when his head dropped.

"I've never left Shiganshina," he admitted in almost a whisper, a certain bitterness in his tone.

"Then tell me what you've seen here?" I asked gently, and faked another confident smile.

And suddenly I didn't want to leave the hospital room. Suddenly I wanted to stay and talk with Armin the whole night, about the ocean and books and history and the world, but I couldn't. It was already getting dark outside, and Mike would probably badger me about what happened if I wasn't home soon.

 

* * *

 

Half an hour later, I was still sitting there, discussing something I had long forgotten and still didn't understand, nodding all the while. We had discussed the pool, the lifeguards, how Eren was actually one of his best friends, and I made a mental to get to know him better. How they'd found out he had angina only about a year ago when he'd collapsed in school, how people took pains to describe how rare it was in young adults and how annoying that was.

I took out a pen and a paper, and wrote my number messily across it when I saw how far the sun had dipped below the horizon. "Here," I said forcibly, tucking it into his palm. "Call me or text me or something later, okay? I want to hear all about the ocean and whatever else you think about. Everything."

He opened his mouth as though to protest, and then closed it, settling for a smile. "Thanks again, Erwin. For everything," he added quickly.

"No problem." I squeezed his hand reassuringly and smiled too. "Just use it, ok?"

"Ok," he whispered.

"Bye," I whispered back, our faces drawn only inches away. All I wanted to do was close the space between them, but I knew I couldn't. If I did that, it would all go wrong.

Which is why I was so completely surprised when he held my face and kissed me.

I faltered and broke it off abruptly, a faint look of surprise on my face as he blushed again and looked away. "Sorry. That was impulsive," he murmured, though the faint grin said he wasn't sorry at all.

"Right, well you should be impulsive more often then," I said, mildly surprised. "Goodnight Armin." I pecked him on the cheek too to show I wasn't upset, and disappeared out of the open door before I could do anything more mature than a friendly peck.

" _That_ was quite a show."

As I stepped into the hallway though, the last person I'd wanted to see met my gaze with a raised eyebrow. His black hair wasn't covered by a cap this time, and there was no mask on his face, but I could still tell all too well who it was.

" _You_ ," I said accusingly.

"Me," he replied, then tapped his chin. "Remind me what I did?"

"You made fun of my eyebrows!" I whined.

"And you made fun of my physical strength, but you don't see me holding a grudge like you, brat." His expression was impassive as ever, and somehow that made me angrier than if he was just plain annoyed.

"Well whatever." I tried to walk down the hallway to escape, but he followed me.

"So what are you doing here?" He asked nonchalantly, as if he hadn't seen. "Visiting your boyfriend?"

"He's not my boyfriend," I said angrily, and it was still kind of true. Not just that, but I didn't wasn't this midget getting into my life. Instead I figured I'd make him feel just as awkward. "Rico said you two were ex's though."

"Yeah, back in highschool. _Huge_ age gap, let me tell you, the headmaster wasn't too happy about that. Didn't think I'd see her again, but it's a small world I guess. I couldn't have been much younger than you, fourteen, fifteen maybe." I felt an undignified curl of rage in my stomach that screamed _nineteen_ and walked faster, but he just kept talking, like he had nothing better to do. "I wasn't with her long though. Only long enough to know girls weren't my style."

At that comment, he drew my interest and I took the bait almost happily. "Oh?"

"Yeah. Two thrusts in and I was limp as a noodle. We both agreed it'd be best to break up after that embarrassing little incident," he said. I flinched at the bluntness of his comment, having trouble imagining anyone in her pants. Even less when he'd said he was fourteen, god.

"Awkward." I tried to cleanse my mind of the images racing across it and focused on getting out of the hospital. "Look, Rico's ex-"

"Levi," he corrected numbly.

"-Levi. I just came to visit Armin, and I really should go. Why are you even following me?" I asked, specific to waggle my eyebrows at him.

"With those things on your face, I could go anywhere in the hospital and still be following you." I glared at him, and his expression softened a little. "Alright, fine, I'll stop. But it's my break and I figured I'd drop by and see how the blonde coconut was doing. Maybe tease him a little. Then I saw you and figured you'd be easier to tease."

"Would you cut the eyebrow shit and either help me or go away?" I said irritably.

"With pleasure," and just like that, Levi was clicking a tiny pair of scissors he'd taken from his pocket. My face veered away from him and I groaned.

"Not literally idiot!" I almost yelled, hiding in my hands. "You said you'd stop!"

"Alright. So you're trying to pick up the coconut. Here's my advice, give him your jacket. Little guys love that kind of thing. And as a bonus it smells like you, so he's probably going to become more familiar and comfortable with that." Levi shrugged off his labcoat and threw it in an office as we walked by. "You should also be respectful of him. Don't treat him like your bitch because he's small or younger."

"Noted." I must have looked at him a little strange as I said it though, because he looked back with cold eyes. 

"What?"

"Well your labcoat-"

"Not mine, the hospitals'. More specifically, the poor sap whose office I threw it in."

"Isn't that going to be a problem?" I asked, curious about his response. "I mean you're only on break right? You're a paramedic, so-"

"Break for the rest of the day." Levi interrupted calmly. "And unless I get caught one of these days, no, it won't. But I have started some interesting ghost stories I've heard during lunch break about the Phantom of the Labcoats," he mused.

"Unbelievable." I sighed and continued down the hall, Levi still walking beside me as we left through the emergency room and continued to the parking lot. My beaten-up old Honda beeped as I unlocked it, and Levi let out a small hiss of disgust at the blemishes on the paint and the ton of bird crap that had built up over the three years I'd owned it, not once bothering to wash it.

"It's filthy."

I snorted. "You think?"

"I'm going to clean it someday when you're not looking. Next time you come visit I'm going to sneak out on my break and clean the shit out of it." He hissed again, and I felt more and more as though in reality he was some sort of vampire, with all the hissing.

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?" I demanded.

"Exactly what I said." His voice was back to cold, and it was really pissing me off how every time he began to say something real, he would retreat into his shell again.

 I huffed out a long breath that caught in the heat, and saw a flashy new Ford in the direction he was walking. Guess being a doctor of any kind paid just as well as it was rumoured to. "Hey, I guess I'll see you around?" I asked, not wanting to be friends, but not wanting to stop talking either. He could be interesting, and besides, it's nothing less than beneficial to be on good terms with someone who owns a nice car you can borrow.

"Later Shitwin Smith," he retorted, climbing into the sleek car and starting the engine.

Only when I'd gotten home I realized I hadn't told him my name.


	4. Chapter 4

My phone buzzed, and I snatched it up again from the side of my bed. Mike just looked at me over his book and gave me a weary roll of his eyes. "You've been texting him nonstop since this morning. Don't you think you should say bye about now?"

The clock on my lockscreen said it was past seven, despite still being light out, and I considered his words before turning my attention back to the screen.

**(1) New Messages**

I entered the code as fast as my fingers permitted and opened it up, Mike sighing and muttering something that sounded a lot like  _good grief_ before looking back at the dull pages. The pages that wouldn't respond to whatever he said.

**From: Armin Arlert ** **  
******

****H ** ** **ey, I was wndring, wanna meet up tmr 4 a movie or something?********  
The docs said I'd be fine this long after, but to be safe I should have some1 to take care of me. ;)**

I was about to text back when the phone buzzed again, this time from another number. I didn't know who it was, but after reading it I had some idea

**From: (1)330-236-0308**

**The doctors (being me) did NOT say he was alright DON'T LET HIM GO ERWIN. Trust me. He's been coming in and out of here all week; he's here now. He had another attack this morning, and they still haven't let him out. He doesn't know I read over his shoulder yet so please don't tell him I messaged you.**

**From: Erwin Smith**

**How the hell did you get my number Levi?**

**From: Levi (???)**

**Over his shoulder. Don't say a word and don't go with him or I swear to god Smith I will shove a fucking table so far up your ass you'll be shitting toothpicks for a week.**

**From: Erwin Smith**

**Y do you care so much? o-o**

Switching back to the chat with Armin, I reread his text over and over again, trying to decide whether to trust him or not. Obviously he knew what he was saying, but it was also possible Levi was the one telling the truth. I didn't even know I could make it if I'd wanted to, I had to work tomorrow night. I could have called in sick, but..

My phone buzzed again in my hand, and I ignored it as I made up my mind, fingers flying across the keys and typing out a message to Armin.

**From: Erwin Smith**

**Sounds great. I'll pick you up? :)**

I checked Levi's messages again, and he'd sent me a horribly long text about why I should say no that I didn't feel like reading right now, so I clicked my phone off and stared at the ceiling, waiting for Armin to respond. Levi was probably being a drama queen, I didn't even know him that well besides the exchange we had in the hallway three weeks ago now. That had been before Armin and I had become anything more than love interests. We still weren't serious, but at least I was allowed to text him and ask if he wanted to meet up.

Finally, a small eternity later, he texted me back with a tiny smiley face that I could only assume meant yes, and I leaned back on my pillow.

"Having fun?" Mike asked, and I just laughed blankly at him. "You really do need to get off that phone and talk to someone else you know."

"Like who?"

"Like the people who are actually around you in the office during the day and not the one texting you. Nanaba's started talking to me for real now; she said you've become so boring she had no choice." He turned a page in his book and sipped at his coffee.

"Woah what? You've been _talking_ to her? Not just getting your ass kicked?"

"That's how much you've stopped noticing the world around you."

I looked back at my phone guiltily, then back at Mike. Was he implying he missed talking to me?

Before I could say anything, my phone buzzed again, and I unlocked it, hoping for Armin's face to pop up on the screen. Instead it was just another message from Levi. 

**From: Levi (???)**

********You stupid asshole.** **  
******If he dies I'm going to kill you because that's MY paperwork.**  
**Do you have any idea how much paperwork there is when someone dies?**********

**From: Erwin Smith**

**Ur a PARAMEDIC. Its not your job.**

**From: Levi (???)**

**You're really dense aren't you. When did I say I was actually a paramedic.**

I had to stop and reread the last text out of surprise when he sent it. My phone buzzed again and I scrolled down.

**From: Levi (???)**

**I'm not actually anything yet. I'm still a Medical Intern.**

That was definitely a surprise. I wouldn't have ever guessed from the way he acted so professional. And what kind of medical intern went around actually doing stuff rather than just watching and taking notes?

**From: Erwin Smith**

**Shut up. Im calling you.**

I dialled his number and waited through the first three rings until he picked up the phone. "What is it you shithead?"

"Firstly, firstly Levi," I hissed. "How old are you actually?" I felt like I'd been lied to even though he'd never confirmed any of my suspicions.

"I'm 26. Why?"

I nearly exploded. Twenty-six! I'd thought he was a decade older! "What the fuck? What are you even going into? How did you afford that car?" Now I wasn't just mad, I was jealous, and Mike stared at me like I'd lost my mind.

"It was a gift from my parents. For graduating med school. And I'm studying cardiology. That's why I was there, because Ian thought I should get some firsthand experience. Angina in such a normally healthy person makes them a good test subject you know." His voice somehow made me angrier, and I was about to start yelling. "Look, just don't kill the stupid kid. Paperwork is my least favourite part of the job."

"You ass!" I said, slamming the [End-Call] button down on my phone and going back to staring at the ceiling. My phone was buzzing so much I thought it would fall off the nightstand soon, so I put a book on either side to prevent any more movement, and slouched back into the pillows.

Finally, my resolve crumbled into a million pieces and I grabbed the phone again, clicking it on.

**(18) New Messages**

It was mostly a long series of "Erwin" sent over and over again, but the last message had a little more substance to it.

**From: Levi (???)**

**Hey I'm sorry for whatever I did, and that's the first and last time you'll hear that, but please just fucking explain you brat.**

I finally had enough, and turned my phone off completely. The room was strangely silent without the constant buzzing of a new message, and I figured I could burn a whole lot more off my nerves if I walked outside somewhere. It didn't have to be anywhere in particular, just somewhere outside.

"Where're you going?" Mike asked as I stood up. 

"Outside," I grunted simply. "Away."

"Pick up some food for dinner while you're at it?" Mike asked hopefully.

"Yeah, yeah. I'll get Chinese takeout, ok?" I said, easing my anger under a layer of calm.

"Cool beans. Thanks man."

 

* * *

 

I kicked open the door to the lobby again, the bags heavy in my arms after carrying them so long, and rammed my finger into the elevator button. Leaning back into my favourite corner, I relaxed a little and wondered how many messages I'd have when I next opened up my phone. Throughout the whole dinner I managed to impale my tongue over three times on a chopstick I'd forgotten to remove from my mouth before I'd bitten down, and by the end it looked like a chewed dog toy. 

By the end though, my gloomy mood had gone to downright depressing, and Mike made me open my phone, peering over my shoulder as it unlocked. We both flinched at the number.

**(91) New Messages**

A lot of them were still "Erwin"s that Levi had sent me, but a few were more along the lines of "I can do this forever," and "answer me or else," while only two were actually from Armin.

**From: Armin Arlert**

**Change of plan, I can't go tmr D: maybe the day after (it works for me)?**

**From: Armin Arlert**

**Sorry.**

Well that was a surprisingly convenient solution to all my problems. A little too convenient if you asked me, but there all the same. And I knew Levi wouldn't have been able to convince him unless he's had some really good reasoning, so I didn't bother to text either one back. Instead I rolled over and waited for the day after tomorrow to come.

 

* * *

  

"Ready?" I called up the stairs of Armin's house. It was a lavish place, decorations of all sorts hanging and perched on every flat surface I could see from the entrance, and I found myself admiring a set of marble humanoid gargoyles on the front porch, their grinning faces eerie in the dying evening.

"Yeah," he said, walking down and checking his shoulder bag for everything. "I've got the money to pay to get in, left a note for my parents-"

"You're sure they're ok with this?'

"They think it's only friendly, don't worry. Act natural when you drop me off, and they won't suspect a thing," he reassured me. "And of course I've got my pump," he finished.

"Right, then let's go," I said, heart glowing in my chest as I sat down next to him and smiled into the road while I drove. Something about him though was off, and I couldn't help but notice he was fidgeting with his hands. "Armin? Everything alright?"

"Well.." he said, looking downwards. "I kind of wanted to talk to you about something, but it can wait till after the movie.."

"What is it?" I said, pulling over suddenly and taking my hands off the wheel to look at him. He didn't meet my eyes longer than a tenth of a second at a time.

"About my parents thinking this is friendly.. I kind of want it to be." His voice sounded faint and remorseful. "It's not you, I promise it's me, and I know that sounds cliché, but-"

I was glad I'd pulled over, because if I hadn't I might have crashed the car. "Woah, what? Where's this coming from?" I demanded, not trying to conceal the vulnerable tone I had.

"It's because I'm beginning to think about someone else... I just don't think I like you like that anymore, and we were moving way too fast anyways. A bit of a hot flash if you will," he smiled sadly. "I'm sorry this is so sudden-"

"Yeah, it kind of is!" I said, my voice getting louder. "Only four weeks and you're calling it quits? But that's totally ok, because there's this _other person_ who is so mugh more-"

"I'm sorry," he repeated lamely, and I felt my anger melt away at his guilty look.

Sighing, I put my hands back on the wheel and started the engine. "It's ok," I said, this time genuinely meaning it. 

"Really?"

"Yeah."

A long silence stretched between us, and I wanted to reach out and grab him and hug him and make him stay, but I knew I couldn't. So instead I looked at him and decided to ask a question that was bothering me.

"How long have you known?"

"Before I met you," he admitted. "I thought you'd blown him out of my mind though, but I was clearly wrong. I'm sorry for leading you on."

Just then my phone buzzed, and I was ready to throw it out thie window and across the street if it was Levi again. I opened it and it was-

**From: Levi (???)**

"That's it," I growled, shoving it back deep into my pocket and steeling my hands on the wheel. I had to count my breaths to refrain from exploding. Armin looked at me a little strange again, and I had to force a grin to make sure he didn't run away completely. "I'm fine. Let's just get to the theatre."

"No, Erwin, if it's bothering you, take care of it." Armin looked up at me with sincere eyes, and I couldn't look straight at him without caving. I took my hands off the wheel again to read the text.

**So how's the blonde coconut doing?**

I paused a moment, seriously considering telling him to fuck off, but that would only cause an attack of another forty or so odd messages.

**From: Erwin Smith**

************In the theatre ttyl.**  
**And he's fine.** ** ** ** ** **

The lie was about as flat as it got, but right now I didn't want to have to deal with Levi. I put my phone back in my pocket and turned it off, trying to forget about what he'd said and just stay focused on driving.

"Everything alright Erwin?" Armin looked even more concerned than before, and I had to ask myself who it was he was so enthralled with to suddenly ditch me like this when he still liked me enough to give me that look.

"Yeah, fine. It was just a friend." I kissed his forehead, and he pouted.

"Erwin, please, no more of that."

"Just pretend for the next two hours then," I said, nuzzling him, his face becoming more and more uncomfortable. "Then you can block my number and do whatever you like. I don't care." I sat back in the chair and relaxed a little, deciding it was better to enjoy the last few moments of our little 'thing' than to ignore them.

"...alright." He looked out the window and leaned on the glass, the cars passing by us illuminating his face in the headlights as we turned back onto the road. 


	5. Chapter 5

His parents had been nice. Not that it mattered, but it was still true. I kept running over my thoughts of the last time I'd been with him as he walked off towards the water, his whole family here this time. There was a faint smile still present on my lips as I looked at his membership card.

"You should really just say something to him you know," Jean said, after watching me stare silently at it a few minutes. "He's not going to know you miss him without you saying it."

"He knows," I said confidently, thinking to my empty inbox that had been empty the past week. "But we weren't even serious about it. A bit of a flirtationship you could say. A hot flash." I recalled his words with more bitterness than I would have liked.

Jean just rolled his eyes at me. "Yeah, and I'm a fucking horse. Look, if it was a hot flash, you wouldn't still be caught up on him, so either figure yourself out or find a better term."

His face twitched as Eren muttered a quite audible  _"_ But Jean, you  _are_ a horse _,"_ from behind us, and looked at him dangerously.

"I guess that makes your sister rather fond of farm animals. I mean, she doesn't seem to mind _handling_ me sometimes, and it would explain how she lives with such a pig." There was a low whistle drawn out from Reiner, and Connie cracked up laughing, but Jaegar took the joke a bit too seriously, standing up and knocking his chair over.

"Come over here and say that to my face!" he yelled dramatically.

"Woah, chill man," Jean said, smirking cockily as he stood. "It was just a joke. You need a tampon too or something?"

They were about to jump, when a curt  _ahem_ drew their attention from each other to the man standing on the other side of the counter. He waved a five dollar bill and frowned at the two who were holding each other by the scruff of their collars. Rico looked up from her desk at the back of the room to nod at him before looking down again, and he nodded back politely. 

"I believe this is standard entrance fee for adults?" Levi said, and I shrank back in the corner, trying not to be seen. 

"Uh," Jean glanced at Eren and decided he could finish with him later. He sneered, before looking back to Levi. "Yeah. That's it. Have a nice day sir."

"I intend to." Levi disappeared past the office window, kicking his shoes off his feet.

I checked the clock, and realized there was only five minutes until my next shift on deck. Sweating nervously, I looked to Reiner and then at Jean. "Hey, can one of you cover my shift? I'll double one later for whichever of you."

They looked at each other, before a wicked grin spread across Jean's face. "Oh, you don't want to be seen by Mr. Tall and Handsome?"

Reiner gave a bark of laughter before adding, "Not exactly Mr. Tall, is he?" I nearly started full on pleading when he smiled and patted me on the shoulder. "I'll cover now, but my shift is right after yours, so you'll take that one. If he's still here you'll just have to deal with it."

I wanted to argue I didn't think of him like that, and that really it had nothing to do with him anyways, but it was probably the best deal I'd be getting. At least my impending demise would be put off for another fifteen minutes. "Thanks Reiner."

"No problem," he said, going back to picking at his teeth with his fingernail.

"So what happened to your old boyfriend anyways?" Connie asked, oblivious to the fact that was the last thing I wanted to talk about.

"He wasn't my boyfriend," I repeated. "He just wanted to be friends."

"Oo-ooh," he groaned, as though it explained everything. "Friendzoned. Happened to me with a few chicks before. Don't worry about it man. Dunno if it's the same with guys but I guess"

"Thanks, Connie," I said, twiddling my thumbs. Reiner stood up with a minute to go and walked out to the chair, and I counted down the sixteen minutes until I died. I could see Levi swimming graceful laps across the pool, his jet cap and speedo matching his hair. What else did I expect really, he could probably cut open someone for open-heart surgery and manage to make it look graceful.

I looked back to Armin's membership card, his face smiling happily at me, before carefully tucking it into his file so it wouldn't be lost when he came back. It'd be hard to explain I'd lost it from staring at it the whole time and then misplacing it. I still couldn't understand why, or who, had caused such a sudden change, but I had plenty of time to figure it out. The rest of my life, to be specific, and that thought made me feel even more miserable.

Suddenly my phone buzzed again and I groaned, knowing who it was before even checking, because somehow in the time it had take me to put away Armin's file, he'd teleported out of the pool and onto a bench, phone in hand.

**From: Levi (???)**

**Not at work today?**

**From: Erwin Smith**

**Yeah. Feeling sick :(**

I hesitated before adding another line to the message and pressing send.

**And armin dumped me so i dont really wanna c him.**

My eyes came off the phone to see him looking at his nails daintily on the bench, before the phone next to him buzzed and fell off. He scrambled to pick it up, checking for scratches, and groaning when he found one on the case.

**From: Levi (???)**

**Aw, poor Erwin. So you're quitting your job because of one kid?**

**From: Erwin Smith**

**Yes. Leave me alone. theres only another like three weeks left until the end of the season anyway.**

I put the phone away again as Rico stared distastefully at me, remembering how Mike had said I hadn't been social enough in the office and people missed me. Though I did spare a glance in Levi's direction to see... was that disappointment on his face? Blotting that out of my mind, I occupied myself with rearranging the files in alphabetical order and then by age, until the tiny clock on the desk said I had two minutes.

"You'd better get out there Smith," Rico said, as if reading my mind, and I slowly stood up and walked outside. I didn't look at anything except my destination, ignoring the splashing and the sound of a chorus of sympathetic  _aaahhh_ s as someone did a bellyflop in the deep end.

"Huh. I was half expecting you to get the next person on the list to come out. I'm pretty sure Mina would have if you'd bothered to ask her."

"No, we made a deal." I shrugged. "And I'm out now anyways, so whatever. Just go back, I'll be fine."

Reiner smiled, and went back inside. He turned towards me and saluted, a glow of respect evident on his face. I saluted back for good luck and watched the crowds as they milled without purpose around the pool. Before long though, my eyes were unconsciously searching for Armin, and I found him, splashing someone who looked like a little sister and tossing her into the water gently while they both laughed. I found myself mesmerized, watching the little girl climb over his shoulders.

Eventually, Armin looked up and waved shyly, as though he was still feeling guilty. I considered turning around and ignoring him, but that would mean I'd have to actually find the stomach to ignore him to begin with, so I waved back. He smiled before his little sister started tugging his hair, her naturally impassive face growing more and more annoyed. He seemed to forget I existed when he'd looked back down, and I sighed again. I felt overdramatic from even thinking about it this much, but my brain couldn't seem to find anything else to think about, so who cared at this point anyways? I was a second choice; now I just had to learn how to deal with it.

While all these thoughts circled in my head like sharks, Armin's little sister became more and more energetic, until she was sitting on his shoulders and pulling his hair. She couldn't have been older than eight, but that was not allowed on so many levels, and besides, he just looked uncomfortable, so I gave a short tweet of the whistle. Sure enough, both of them looked up and were staring at me, as I awkwardly stared back and tried to remember what I'd even wanted to say.

"Um. Don't sit on his neck like that. Or pull his hair. It can hurt people."

_Nailed it._

She puffed out her cheeks in disappointment, but then he whispered something in her ear and she grinned at him again, neck-abuse forgotten. I sat back in the chair, feeling embarrassed as it was, but I couldn't shake the feeling I had someone watching me even after everyone had gone back to their regular pool-activities.

Oh  _right._  

Everyone except for one person that is.

I pinned my face in a somewhat normal look and forced myself to look Levi in the eye and he stared at me, eyebrow raised skeptically, but I might as well have been looking at the sun. Or for that matter, a block of ice reflecting the sun, because of how goddamned cold he seemed right about now. He mouthed _'Feeling sick?'_ at me before he shook his head and dove back under the water, and I felt a whole lot more uncomfortable than I had before. I looked at the clock, the worst part was I'd had three minutes to go before I was gone, safe at home plate, _scot free_. I could already see Mina checking her watch every ten seconds to make sure she came out on time. Sure, I still had to do the shift for the deep end, but why would Levi have been looking there?

Well, as it turned out, he wasn't looking at the deep end chair later either. Or in the office when he stalked by each time he came swimming after. Or at his phone later that night. In fact it seemed like he'd completely forgotten I existed, as opposed to the occasional bothersome texts I'd gotten about Armin before, or the short, businesslike ones about work.

Dead silence.

So not only did I have one kind-of-ex I'd almost killed that I had to make sure to avoid, but a pissed-off med student now too.

This summer just kept getting better and better.

 

* * *

 

 

"Nothing?"

"Nothing," I replied, taking a sip of the coffee in my hands. I threw the keys at Mike, since I'd misplaced my own pair to the dorm, and flopped onto the couch, spilling a small amount on the already heavily coffee stained seat. Neither one of us ever cared enough to mop it up or wash it out.

His nose was buried deep in his engineering textbook, and he didn't look up to reply. "Weird."

"Yeah," I agreed halfmindedly. I was more curious how he knew I was thinking about that when I'd walked in, but I didn't bother to ask. Not like it was the first time he'd become psychic at random. "I dunno why."

"Has it occurred to you that you  _lied_ to him?" he asked sarcastically, his eyes leaving the pages for a second to stare blankly at me. 

I squirmed uncomfortably under the glower. "I mean, yeah, but it was just to get him off my case. I really wish I had skipped work too," I admitted, thinking about Armin once again.

"Oh get over yourself," Mike scolded. "It was a four week affair,  _move on._ Would you really still want to be with him, knowing you were his second choice to begin with?" He turned the page and adjusted the round glasses reading glasses he wore, which I'd always thought clashed comically with the rest of his appearance. He seemed to think they were handsome.

"No, but-"

"Then shut up. I'm trying to study."

My mouth bolted shut, and I felt mildly offended. Mike sighed again, closing his eyes a moment before he peered over the top of his book again. "Just talk to him. Both hims I mean. What's the worst that could happen?"

"I.." I _didn't_ want to think about it, mostly because I had a horribly imaginative mind, and what I was seeing right now  _definitely_ involved me being cut open, gracefully, for a more permanent type of surgery. "I guess my lungs if you really must know."

Mike rolled his eyes again. "Alright. I'll be waiting for when next week all your problems are gone, and you come home just to give me hugs and throw coins at me for my greatness. Or, y'know, whatever you do to gods."

"What?"

"Oh nevermind," he said, though a smile twitched at the edge of his lip. I did think about what he said a moment, before pulling out my phone and staring at it. He was right after all.

But on the other hand, I thought back to the week before, and the week before that, and how he'd looked so disappointed when I spent so long talking to people he didn't even know, ignoring my best friend all the while. I tucked my phone away, and even though he'd pretended he hadn't been watching, he gave me a curious look.

"I'll do it later," I said. He raised his eyebrows again, until finally his gaze slowly wandered back down to his book, but I still got the impression he was watching me.

I'd do it later.


End file.
